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When A Partner Is Unfaithful Is Divorce The Only Way Out? |
By:
Alex Archer |
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When A Partner Is Unfaithful Is Divorce The Only Way Out?
Alex Archer
There doesn't seem to be a day that goes by that you don't hear about someone getting a divorce. It just seems to be a fact of life that we've all learned to accept. We all have someone in our lives that divorce has touched.
Divorce claims a high toll and not only on the people directly involved. Immediate family, extended family and friends are all touched. It's touched me personally. One day my sister phoned me. She had caught her husband in the act of bringing another woman into their home. She and her husband had been married 17 years, she had known him since childhood. Suddenly she was convinced that divorce was the only answer.
In the months that followed, my sister had many visits to her lawyer and several court appearances. This took its toll. My sister began to lose weight, cried often, became dependent upon others, lost self esteem and basically began to fall apart.
As my sister had no savings she had to rely on our parents not only for legal expenses but for the basic necessities as well. This was not an easy burden for my parents to bear. She asked me to assist her in working out the details of the divorce, particularly the division of assets. For me it seemed like a no-win situation as no matter what I decided I would likely be blamed for anything that didn't work out.
While I was certain that everything was on a downhill path, I suddenly realized that my sister had started talking to her husband again. She was phoning him every day, in fact. She was beginning to take better care of herself and had become much easier to be around again. I was opposed to her going back to her husband. After all he had been unfaithful to her. Yet I wisely stepped back and let her take charge of her own life again, realizing that perhaps only her husband was the one who could make her happy again.
My sister felt that healing after an affair would be difficult to do. Both she and her husband decided that they would attend marriage counseling. The therapist assured them that affair recovery was indeed possible with dedication and hard work. This was something they were both willing to do to get their marriage back on track.
First, the loss of trust had to be restored and this would not happen all at once. Fortunately my sister had a heart of forgiveness, much more than I had ever given her credit for, and this if anything was the key to eventual success. They have worked very hard to make their marriage a good one in the five years since all of this happened. They set aside time for one another, plan vacations together and make it a point to talk to one another before going to sleep at night.
The cost of divorce is high, emotionally and financially. It is hard on the children. Besides broken hearts, children often suffer from a loss of self-esteem when their parents separate. You really want to pay attention to how your marriage is going and do this throughout your marriage. Do things together on a regular basis, whether dining out at a nice restaurant or walking a few blocks every evening and maybe enjoying a hot dog. Don't forget, when you took the marriage vows they were sacred and intended to last for a life time. Keeping that in mind may help in keeping your marriage on track. Divorce is not the only answer, in fact it is probably the worst answer in most cases.
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you http://www.affairrecovery.com/ heal from infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start http://www.affairrecovery.com/resources) healing from infidelity right now.
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Article Source: http://www.PopularArticles.com/article152037.html |
Article: When A Partner Is Unfaithful Is Divorce The Only Way Out?
Author: Alex Archer
Total Views: 28
Word Count: 656
Category:
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Family / Divorce
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