Internet dating has everything to do with convenience; the luxury of being able to log-on and tap into your dating life whenever you have a spare few minutes, the time-saving ability to weed through dozens, even hundreds, of potential dates in no time, the built-in organization of dating websites like Datepad, which allows you to keep up with multiple people and various forms of communication at once, it's no wonder Internet dating has quickly gone from new Internet fad to universally-prevalent, completely legitimate social option.
We all have a limited amount of spare time. And one of the most commons reasons, or so I understand, is having children. I call them biology's little time consumers. Lest I represent myself, I want to make it clear; I do NOT have children. I don't pretend to have the knowledge to write an advice piece on what it is like to be a single parent as it relates to romance and sex.
I do, however, have single with baby friends and I myself have dipped into the single daddy dating pool once or twice. And from that, I have garnered a little experience about the ins and outs of dating someone with kids, which I now share with you.
Like kids
Seems like a no brainer to me, but if you don't like kids, don't want any and don't want to be around them then you should think twice before dating someone with reproductive baggage. The kids are not going anywhere. Sure you might come around and learn to like, even love, these particular kids, and there is nothing wrong with testing the waters. But if you just don not like children you are better off not getting attached to that new Internet dating hottie too quickly.
Be prepared to be second best at all times
New parents are often overheard saying that they thought they could never love someone more than their spouse; until they had a baby. That new bundle of joy just took over their heart. That's just the way biology works. Dating someone who has strong emotional ties to someone else, in this case their child(ren), you need to be realistic and put your ego on the back burner. Their children come first, always.
All children have two parents
So lucky you have met an amazing guy. He's funny, he's smart, he's hard working AND he's good looking! You're smitten. His five year old is adorable and lo and behold the little darlin' thinks you're just great. Then you meet The Mother. No, I'm not talking about his mother. It's scarier than that; it's The Baby Mama.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes (rumor has it) separated co-parents have a completely respectful, amicable, even friendly relationship. If that's the case, then breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe. No matter what the state of relation is between your beau/belle and the other parent of their children, there will be a certain amount of baggage to deal with. And this other person will always (hopefully, for the kids sake) be around in one way or another.
Really, all of these points can be summed up by saying: be secure. That's the bottom line. Between dealing with still-around exes, coming in second place in your significant others priority list, and dealing with the sometimes bumbling awkwardness of becoming acclimated to dealing with kids, an insecure person will see those insecurities magnified.
If not acknowledged, confronted and tamed, those feelings will be the downfall of the relationship. As with any other type of relationship, it's good practice to do a self-assessment before getting involved with a single parent. And with a little luck, you'll find yourself with someone who is aware and patient enough to understand your position and hold your hand through the tricky parts.
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