It is significant that kids would know at home that there are limits to everything. And with limits, there should be a person setting it. That person is the authority figure. Kids need to have someone at home who says "You can't go home at 10 PM; our curfew is 9 PM."
To be an effective parent is to teach him about discipline, respect and maturity. This doesn't mean using too firm a hand on him. It also doesn't mean being too much of a "softy." Either way is an extreme way of encouraging your child not to be obedient. Just like any other thing, having a balance when it comes to disciplining children is the best thing to have.
How can balance be shown to children, especially when it concerns discipline? It is shown through an explanation of the rules or how you handle any and all indiscretions. For instance, if your child would rather watch television, play video games and other similar stuff than do his homework, you shouldn't barge in and demand that he does your bidding or else let him go on with whatever he is doing in the hopes that he will change his mind and start his homework. The chances of that happening are incredibly slim.
If this is the situation that you have found yourself in, then you need to make sure that your child knows what needs to be done. You can talk to him and tell him that he needs to do his homework. Explaining things to your child in a mature manner gives him the chance to understand why certain things need to be done.
That's why the parent has to have integrity. He should mean what he says and say what he means. If the parent doesn't do so, the child would have the idea that when you talk you mean nothing. The result of this is a confused child. A child who is confused is a child who suffers from learned helplessness when he becomes an adult.
It is important to let your child know that any bad deeds that he does means that he would have to suffer the consequences. This can be done through grounding him, taking away his television, computer or video game privileges, and even making him do extra chores around the house. Since kids really don't want to get reprimanded, he will obey you. The trick here is that even if your child will see this as some sort of punishment, what you are doing is actually teaching your child to be responsible for his actions and to follow rules.
The important thing is to explain things properly to your children, to make them into mature and free thinking adults without having to strike a hand and such. The children will then develop obedience, respect and loyalty to you as well.
More Information:
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