A lot of parents often find it hard to talk to their kids without getting into a fight. This problem in communication is usually the reason why a parent and a child get involved with a power struggle. When parents feel paralyzed when their kids give them a sarcastic and condescending tone, a screaming match is just around the corner.
In order to avoid these ugly fights, some parents resort of keeping silent and letting their kids have the say in the house. They walk on eggshells, and they ask their kids nicely instead of telling them firmly what to do. While walking on thin ice prevents arguments from happening, it is not really the solution to the problem. You have to realize that being considerate to your child is totally different from tiptoeing around your kids.
It is a fact that parents should be considerate to their children's feelings and opinions. If your child has troubles going through something, you can be considerate in such a way that you help him overcome the challenge as smoothly as possible. Perhaps you can help in terms of adjusting the frequency and the intensity of the experience so that your child can learn to build tolerance.
Say for example your child is afraid to swim. Do you think throwing him into the pool is the best way to go? What you should do instead is to work with him in overcoming that fear. Talk to your child about the things that he finds difficult so that he builds up the tolerance for it and develops a solid base for his skills in the process.
But what if you have kids that are very reactive in a negative way? One thing is for sure - tiptoeing will mean being afraid to tell your child to do the things that are expected of him.
When you tiptoe around your child, you are letting your child know that he has more power than you and he will use that power to further manipulate you. Therefore, you have to set a firm limit and then do skill building to teach your child how to solve his problems properly.
There is proper way of correcting your child's behavior, especially when he misbehaves in front of his friends or other people that you know. Yes it is your job to reprimand, but it does not include yelling or humiliating your child.
If your child misbehaves in front of other people especially those that you know or are friends with, use the cues that you and your child agreed upon. Perhaps a solid stare or a raise of your eyebrow can tell him, "Okay, stop that" whenever your child does something annoying. Yelling to your child will only stimulate his acting out, thus escalating the entire situation. But if you use cues, you can stop your child from misbehaving without actually making a scene.
More Information:
Looking for parenting advice? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Kids Who Engage in
Back Talk. Check on the link for more information.
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