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Marriage Counsellors Suggest You Use Thoughtful Language To Improve Your Relationship

By: Dr. Dan Dalton

Published: October 12, 2010
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Marriage counselling is a common type of therapy sought by couples in London and throughout Central Ontario. Marriage counsellors can help you with a variety of situations, but often focus on improving communication skills. Many counsellors and mental health professionals teach couples better communication strategies. Ultimately, the way you speak to your spouse has a great impact on the effectiveness of your communication, which ultimately affects the quality of your relationship.

Thoughtful language can result in productive and respectful conversations that foster partnerships and prevent further crisis. Below, you’ll find some do’s and don’ts when it comes to using thoughtful language.

Do:
• Be mindful of what you say and how you say it
• Pay attention to the words you use and the messages behind them
• Be aware of the tone of voice you use, as well as your facial expressions and body language
• Use direct and honest communication, even when it’s uncomfortable
• Drop your defensiveness
• Speak kindly and respectfully
• Be gentle, especially if you want to speak up to get someone to change
• Use words to communicate your ideas and feelings, not to manipulate or pressure others into doing what you want
• Listen to what your partner has to say and respect and consider their ideas, feelings and concerns
• Be positive and use positive language

Don’t:
• Use cruel or harsh words or tone of voice
• Try to control situations through words
• Use insults or sarcasm to dominate, intimidate or manipulate
• Use back-handed compliments designed to make someone doubt themselves or feel weak
• Use words to humiliate
• Be negative or use negative language

When you are aware of how your words affect others as well as the messages behind your words you will be better able to use thoughtful language to communicate with your partner. Thoughtful language is also a good communication strategy when talking with friends, family and co-workers. Thoughtful communication requires you to stop using language to control situations and start using language to communicate your ideas and feelings openly. If you use thoughtful language successfully you will be able to communicate better, which will result in productive and respectful relationships and partnerships.

Ultimately good communication skills are key to any successful relationship. If you are having problems with your relationship you should seek marriage counselling. There are a number of qualified marriage counsellors, therapists and mental health professionals in London and Central Ontario who can provide you with the tools and help you need to improve your relationship.

Dr. Dalton has over fifteen years of experience in the field of psychology and is committed to providing his clients with the best services in Ontario. Dr. Dan Dalton and Associates provide London marriage counselling services through a network of over 170 mental health professionals and psychologists
across Ontario. With over 100 office locations in more than 30 communities, Dr. Dalton connects couples with marriage counsellors across Ontario.


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