The world has turned into a very complicated place and so is rearing our children especially under these modern conditions. With modern technology and the availability of all types of information for almost everyone, the proper way to bring up our children becomes a challenge in comparison with the way it used to be a few decades back. Children were raised in a stricter fashion before, and they grew up with obedience and respect to the elders instilled in them.
I cannot generalize and say that respect and obedience is not present anymore in these modern days because of too much information. The truth is, children need this information to move up in the world, but you always have to be there to strain the kind of information that is getting into your child's brain - the right kind. Your presence is required to ensure that your kids get the right kind and amount of information suited for their age.
Do not get me wrong, information is vital to the growth of a child. It helps us build a stronger, smarter foundation for them.
Some parents, in their efforts to make their children listen to them, in their eagerness to instill what they think is correct, sometimes become too forceful in their attempts and overshoot the goal of making the children listen, really listen.
You see, there is a huge difference between children listening when they are being scolded than children listening when their parents are explaining in a calm and disarming manner. In the heat of the moment, particularly when the kids have done something quite terrible, parents forget the proper way to address such situation, give in to the outbursts of emotions and immediately blame the child or kid for the error done.
First off, most kids realize it when they have made a mistake and their usual recourse is to hide it or sanitize the whole story to minimize culpability.
Listen is the keyword. You will never know why the kid did what he did unless you first listen. And in order to be able to make your child talk, you have to make him comfortable first, unafraid that whatever he will say may get him into deeper trouble.
Tact and strategizing your next move is the appropriate thing to do with an erring child. Blaming will never solve the issue. In the end, it may cause serious self-esteem issues with your child.
More Information:
Katherine Thompson writes about topics such as
dealing with ODD disorder. Learn how to be a more effective parent by visiting her website about
my problem children.
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