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The Traditional Jewish Dating

By: Julian Lester Fernandez


In as much as they want to preserve the moral and ethical values of each Jew, Jewish tradition demand that dating between men and women in the concept of premarital relationship should stop at the point of physical contact. Jewish law clearly states that when a young woman begins menstruating, she entices herself in the status of “nidah” or the point when no men can show any physical contact, until the day of her marriage. The law adds that “just prior to her marriage ceremony she removes the nidah status, in accordance with Jewish law, by immersing herself in the waters of a mikveh (a body of water used only for spiritual sanctification), and may then be approached by her husband.” Furthermore, after the ceremony, the woman assumes the nidah once again “with each onset of a menstrual period, and marital relations must then be suspended until she immerses herself, once more, in a mikveh, at least one week after the completion of each menstrual period.”

Other culture might find it very difficult to understand why Jews stick to the law in spite of the changes in the way people relate to others. Different society like Americans and other Western community has an open mind on the issue of sex and finds Jewish law on premarital dating taboo and outdated. Western dating involves no rule and law. The dating couple decides how far they could go on the boundaries of sexuality including physical contact and sexual acts.

For the Jews, physical contact such as holding hands, kissing, and other forms of affection during dating is strictly against their law. The present world widely accepts that physical relationship is one of the key to maintain a good and lasting relationship but Jewish law remains conservative about this issue.

Jewish believes that any form of physical relationship will soon end up to more physical demands. This so called “social graces” can start in just a simple kiss but can later evolve into a more intimate body contact. The man tends to ask for more and the woman gives some more until they reach the point when both can no longer identify their boundaries which can result to immoral act of premarital intimacy.

Jews believe that Jewish dating should not adopt other tradition as part of theirs just to relate into the world. They believe that the sacredness of the body and obedience to the law is far more important than everything around them. Jews maintain and will retain their original belief and tradition no matter how the world looks to them. Jews will follow their law in its strictest sense no matter what happen. Jewish dating will remain sacred and in accordance to the law for as long as the Jewish law wants to.



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