Back To Fish School...Baitfish 101

Okay.

So you would think that in this information age we fishermen and fisherwomen would have all the knowledge of baitfishing at our fingertips.

Evidently, some of us have been slow to enter this information age, so as a public service I am going to pass along some rather "common sense" information that apparently isn't being absorbed by the fishing world.

This information is being sent, with the hope that if 200 people read this article and then they tell 200 people and so on and so forth, maybe, just maybe enough people will get the message.

I have enlisted Professor R. O. Tenone, the famous expert on natural fish carnage, to explain the use of "live baitfish" and its effect on lakes and rivers. We join the professor midstream on his lecture...

..."Zo class, as you can zee ze Goldfish, why making a very nice pet for ze vindowzil and bringing zmiles to zee faces of zee many kids, makes a very poor choice when uzing it azz bait for catching zee big one!"

"Vy you ask?"

"Vell, if zee Goldfish zhould ezcape zee clutches of zee hook--zen der iz good chance he vill zurvive to dezzimate zee fishery he haz been released into!"

"Are zer any qvestions?"

"Yez--you zer vit zee plaid hat."

"Professor, why are we talking about Goldfish? Are you actually telling us that people are using Goldfish as bait to catch fish?"

"Abzolutely. Goldfish, Chubbs, and Zquawfish are all ze prime examples of live baitfish that have turned vhat vas once prime trout vaters into vatery vastelands devoid of any vorthvhile fish."

"That's a lot of 'V's' professor.

"Zat's not zee point."

"Zee point izz, ruining zee fishing of an entire lake just zo one individual can "hang zee big von" zeems a little zelfish--NOOO?"

"No--I mean yes--I mean is this a real problem?"

"Vell, I did not become zee expert on fish carnage vithout having first hand knowledge."

"Oh, yeah--your the guy that has to use that natural "toxic to fish" poison that kills off all the fish in a lake, so they can re-plant fish, so fishermen can fish for trout or something other than trashfish."

"In zee matter of zpeaking."

"I don't conzider any fish trash, but I don't zink it is natural to have zee giant Koi pond out in zee vild either."

"Vhat--I mean What can we do?"

"Vell, first ve must educate zee fisherman zat zees fish are no good to use azz bait. Zpread zee vord in all zee fishing circles you know, vorms are o.k., Rapalas vork vell, and of course zee flys, but no Goldfish!"

"I don't know professor, seems like a pretty daunting task."

"Fine, azz long azz you feel comfortable looking at zee grown men ztanding on zee cover of zee magazine holding zee mighty Goldfish--zen it iz o.k. vit me."

"I guess that isn't very impressive."

"In zee conclusion, I am going to give zee link to zee story I read zat made me give zis class"

"Remember class, if zey have to call me--zen it is too late, and you know who pays ven Professor R.O. Tenone has to show up?"

"Uhhh, ...let me see... uhhh... the taxpayers?"

"Class dizmizzed."

the link to the story on Goldfish: http://www.mailtribune.com/outdoor/

A.J. Klott
Author, writer of fishing humor, and "fly tack" peddler.A.J. writes about the people, characters and modern day events that surround the fishing world. His first book is due out in December of 2005. If you need a laugh or a fun gift, visit his website at: http://www.twoguyswithflys.com