Whatever you want in life, you have far more chance of achieving it if you set a clear goal, written down, with a definite time scale.
For example, if you want to lose weight, set a target weight and a realistic date for reaching this target. This way you will be more committed to actually forming a plan to do something about it, and keeping to it. Follow this step-by-step process for your goal.
1. Once you have decided what it is you want to achieve, make sure you have a clear vision. Really see it, feel it, hear it, taste it. If you have a goal to lose weight, imagine how you will feel when you have reached your target weight - how will you feel about yourself? How will you reward yourself? Put up pictures or inspirational quotes that you will see very day to remind you of what your goal looks like.
2. Second, make your goal measurable. Something like losing weight is quite easy in this respect - you set a target weight that would be right for your height, etc. If your goal is something like 'be more spiritual,' this is more difficult to measure - but imagine what you would be doing, feeling, being if you were more spiritual. Catch the essence of what it means for you. Think of something specific that you could do if you were more spiritual and make this your goal. This is vital - if you don't set a measurable goal, your goal will always be vague and you don't really know exactly what you are aiming for, which will decrease your motiviation.
3. Make sure that your goal is achievable and realistic. If you have a track record of failed goals, have a look to see if you have been setting yourself goals that are too big to achieve within a given timescale, or are outside of your capabilities right now. This does not mean they are not ultimately achievable – but sometimes it is better to start with smaller goals that you know you can achieve. Once you start reaching these goals, you will feel more confident to follow a slightly bigger goal, and so on...
4. Next, set a date for when you will reach your goal. Write it in your diary or calendar. Tell your closest friends and ask them to ask you whether you've taken the actions you need in order to reach your goals. If other people know this is what you are doing you will be more motivated to carry out whatever it is you need to do.
5. Decide how you will reward yourself when you achieve your goal. This is very important. We often do not pause to pat ourselves on the back when we achieve something, and often our achievements go by almost unnoticed. Make sure you have a definite reward set out that will be a way of acknowledging yourself and giving yourself a confidence boost.
6. Set out the steps you need to take to reach your goal and work out when you need to do them – put these in your diary or calendar – and then keep to them!
7. There will be days or maybe periods of time when you feel de-motivated, disheartened and perhaps begin to wonder why you thought you could do it. Don’t allow these moments to stop you. This is just your internal saboteur – perceptions you have built up from past experience that have created self-limiting beliefs. Use the following guidelines to keep you motivated:
• If you are stuck, ask yourself the question 'How can I get round this obstacle' - you may be surprised how easily you will answer yourself.
• Keep your goal in mind - bring it to life by imagining how you will feel, how your life will be, etc.
• Remind yourself of the consequences of NOT achieving your goal.
• DON'T feel guilty if you are not achieving as quickly as you would like - guilt is destructive - just review your goal and re-structure if necessary.
• Ask yourself if you've taken on too much - how realistic is your goal? Does it need simplifying, or a longer time period?
• Remind yourself of what you HAVE achieved so far - and give yourself a reward.
• Take a break - stop thinking about it for a few days - and then start again. You might find a few new ideas.
• Make sure you have the right people supporting you - if you have anyone putting your project down, don't discuss it with them.
• Ask your most supportive friends to help - get them to ask you regularly what you are doing to achieve your goal.
• Refuse to listen to any negative thoughts in your head that tell you you can’t do it. Every successful person has these – but their success is result of the ability to ignore these thoughts.
• Remember that your goal IS achievable. Everything comes from our beliefs. The successful person is successful because they believe that it’s possible. The unsuccessful is so because they believe that it’s not. It’s really that simple. So believe that your goal is possible.
Above all, be good to yourself. Don't give yourself a hard time - there is nothing wrong with you if you are finding it difficult to keep to a goal. It's perfectly normal. However, if you are finding it difficult, you may be suffering from low confidence, or a self limiting belief - why not discuss it with a life coach?
Ros Bott BA (Hons) FAETC
Life Coach and writer
http://www.rosbott.com
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