Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you never had to "lock horns" with other people? Well, there are some skills that you can learn.
Try this. Ask somebody to raise both arms so that they can touch the palms of their hands against yours. Don't worry about explaining anything to them. Tell them it is an experiment if you like.
Now you are facing the other person, you both have your arms raised and are "palm to palm." Start pushing. What happens? What does the other person do? Do it. The outcome is 100% predictable.
So, why, when you are seeking co-operation with another person should you be confronting to them? It doesn't make sense when you see it in this light, does it? What is your 100% predictable response when somebody starts forcing his or her wishes onto you?
Let's use an example. Do you say to your partner: "I want a cup of tea!"? Or, would it be better to say something like: "Darling, I'm really busy at the moment. I'd really like a cup of tea if you have the time to make it."
What does the second approach convey to your partner?
1 - You are really busy right now,
2 - You would really appreciate your partner making that cup of tea for you,
3 - You have shown concern for your partner's time.
Conversely, what does the first approach convey?
1 - You are rude
2 - You are arrogant
3 - You are lazy
It is far easier to attract bees to pollen than it is to gasoline.
Look at your langauge. When you desire somebody to do something for you do you sound like a military commander? What sort of body langauge do you use?
The easiest way to get co-operation from other people is to place yourself in their position. How would you like to be approached? How do you react to "orders?"
People are reluctant to respond favorably to orders, unless, of course, they are in the armed forces. But that is a different matter.
Governments, banks, insurance companies, lawyers, courts, politicians and employers all issue orders. How do most people react? They become defensive, unco-operative, resentful and at times, hostile.
Can you now see the awesome power of getting other people to co-operate with you with a willing heart? Might you now make a concentrated effort to couch your requests in terms that they find palatable?
Yes, this is an art. But like all arts, the more you practice it the more skilful you will become. Try it. You will be amazed at how co-operative people will become.
[If you like this article and would like to use it on your own website or ezine you may do so ONLY if the article is not changed in any way and the final paragraph: "About the author," with all links intact, is included.]
About the author: Gary Simpson is the author of eight books covering a diverse range of subjects such as self esteem, affirmations, self defense, finance and much more. His articles appear all over the web. Gary's email address is budo@iinet.net.au. Click here to go to his Motivation & Self Esteem for Success website where you can receive his "Zenspirational Thoughts" plus an immediate FREE copy of his highly acclaimed, life-changing e-book "The Power of Choice."
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