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If you were to decide to go on a diet, you may decide as a first
step to stop eating that delicious double fudge cake that you
enjoy so much. An excellent decision for the goal you wish to
achieve. However, you now have to resist the thought of that
delicious double fudge cake. Resisting it will keep the cake on
your mind. A problem.
Why would resisting a desire keep it on your mind? Here's an
illustration to make this clear. Stop and imagine for a moment
that a stranger came up to you and gave you a device that can
monitor one thought in your head. That thought is whether or not
you are thinking about a 'pink elephant'. (strange, I know.)
Then he says, "I will give you $1000 if you DON'T think of a
pink elephant for exactly 24 hours and this device will let me
know if you did or not."
Suddenly, something that you may never have thought about before
in your life. Namely, a pink elephant. Becomes ALL you can think
about for the next 24 hours.
In other words, a mistake that many people make when attempting
to manage stress is to - RESIST- what they don't want! Resisting
an idea focuses your mind on that idea like a crab holding on to
its prey.
The Solution?
Focus instead on what you do want to achieve rather than what
you want to resist.
Yes, those pink elephants can be hard to keep off your mind,
unless you choose to focus instead on how beautiful the ancient
'Bird of Paradise' must be. Then create the image of the most
beautiful bird you can imagine. What pink elephants?J
Being enthusiastic about a project naturally enables you to
focus. But what can be done about jobs you are less excited
about?.
The first thing to do when faced with an unpleasant, maybe even
stressful, task is to change your point of view.
Everything has a positive aspect to it, so spend a few moments
and look for that silver lining. To make an unpleasant job a
little more palatable, build in a few treats along the way. When
you find your thoughts starting to drift, remind yourself of the
final reward at the end of a job well done.
Distractions are inevitable; the goal is to develop your ability
to cope with a distraction and get back on track. When you
notice you thoughts start to drift or you are interrupted, order
your mind to STOP; then gently bring your mind back to where it
should be. The key word here is gently, trying to force yourself
to concentrate only increases resistance.
Allow specific times for your mind to wander or worry. With time
set aside to worry or day-dream, stray thoughts are less likely
to force themselves into your focus time. Making a note of
worrisome thoughts and putting them aside for later will
sometimes help.
Remember, your mind is an extremely powerful tool. It can be
your worst enemy or best friend. How you choose to focus your
mind is the key to handling those pink elephants.
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